The in-between stage of change can be desperately uncomfortable - not being our old self and not yet being our new self can feel awkward and painful. But we are still us...
"Whether we become a mother or become permanently childless, there can be a huge identity shift that means working out who we are as women now, who we are as individuals, how we fit with those around us, how life can never go back to what it was and how we can never go back to who we were."
-- It took me a long time to appreciate that involuntary childlessness (and perhaps voluntary too) changes us in ways just as profoundly as motherhood potentially can. And yet, because our experience is disenfranchised and othered, it perhaps takes us time to accept that. For me, there is no 'going back' to who I was before my dreams of motherhood ended... she has been burnt away by grief and transformation. I miss her naive hopefulness sometimes, but I love the deep, soulful version of me that the fire of loss revealed.
I’m long since reconciled to my involuntary childlessness and when I think of my younger self, I feel so sorry for that young girl/woman because she was hopeful and didn’t know the pain that lay ahead. I feel it’s so important to bring compassion to our own experiences and to know that we did our best to muddle through 💕
"Whether we become a mother or become permanently childless, there can be a huge identity shift that means working out who we are as women now, who we are as individuals, how we fit with those around us, how life can never go back to what it was and how we can never go back to who we were."
-- It took me a long time to appreciate that involuntary childlessness (and perhaps voluntary too) changes us in ways just as profoundly as motherhood potentially can. And yet, because our experience is disenfranchised and othered, it perhaps takes us time to accept that. For me, there is no 'going back' to who I was before my dreams of motherhood ended... she has been burnt away by grief and transformation. I miss her naive hopefulness sometimes, but I love the deep, soulful version of me that the fire of loss revealed.
Thank you Henri for your words xx
I’m long since reconciled to my involuntary childlessness and when I think of my younger self, I feel so sorry for that young girl/woman because she was hopeful and didn’t know the pain that lay ahead. I feel it’s so important to bring compassion to our own experiences and to know that we did our best to muddle through 💕